Gladly Beyond.

Its hard to experience cold weather in Singapore. These days, I've developed a habit of looking at the sky constantly, wishing for billowing clouds to gather and pour its essence down ruthlessly. Rain is not the one that I'm waiting for. Instead, I'm coveting after the clean fresh air after the heavy downpour.

When that happens, I'll be lusting over the lonely walk by the empty streets during the night. Listening to songs, pretending that I was being watched from behind. Carefully pacing my steps so that I won't be walking too fast while letting the cold breeze bites into my cheeks.

I'm not sure why am I constantly craving for this kind of moment. But I guess its a wholesome kind of loneliness that I'm drawn to. The positive kind. It feels like taking every parts of me back from family, friends, school, work and society. I feel fulfilled, like sweeping pieces of scattered, broken vase together into a pile. 

Then again, I think I know why I need it. I need to feel like I own myself at least once in awhile. Again and again.

Ph: Hedi Slimane

"Let me breath for you.

 Let me know you do.

 Let me take the pain for you.

 And let me see it through you eyes."

 Glasser, T.

Not One Solution.

.

"I'm lonely. What kind of loneliness?

Every kind."

Daul Kim, Model

Cacophonies For The Awfully Alone

Cacophonies of Silence

Shouldn't you feel lonely

after a long walk?

Chasing time

all around the clock.

We survived the crumbling walls.

Now silence is demanding

a talk.

It never remain for

more than a month.

Now, it got me planted

deep in the yard.

I saw you thrice in my dream.

Seething at me with your

deformed teeth.

You disposed 

the dearest from me.

I staged a riot

to drive away the solitary.

Fighting a losing war

predicting mental rising

from afar.

Julius Kensan

( Sentimental Freak )

I want to go home.

I hate to admit this.

That i'm lonely.

I've always love the time spent alone. The time where i'm able to mull over stuffs.

However, too much time alone is damaging. Its creeping into my mind, making me a paranoid homie. Its forcing me to think that everything will return to the same way that it used to be again.

I'm such a fool back then, to think that i don't need anyone but myself and that i can do anything by myself as long as i believe. Now, i should laugh at my stupid theory.

I need a little hug.

I need a shoulder to lean on.

I need to protect.

I need the connection.

I need to smile.

I need... some love?

Stupid, me.

"I'm a drug, you don't want to give up.

 Smoke your cigarette, make your love."

 Rachael Yamagata, Sunday Afternoon.