Ever since the beginning of this year, everything seems kinda numb to me. I don't know what I've gotten myself into. School is just school. Work is just work. Time is just time, and my life is starting to feel like a walking clock slowly ticking towards the uncertain future.
Maybe I didn't end 2009 on the right note. I didn't confront about the issue that is leaving a gaping mar somewhere inside me. If i saw a bruise on my leg, i can see it and i know how to treat it. Yet, i can't fix the agony inside for i don't know where it is. I guess that's how it is with emotional wound.
I chose to forget and it proved to be more damaging. Every time i remembered, the wound opened bit by bit swallowing up a part of me. They say time heals everything. I say time just conceals and hides everything, trying to convince me that what i want to find is not there anymore.
Even so, those who forget are doomed to remember. This time round, i chose to remember as much as i can. I'm not denying that it's not painful, but at least there's a tune for me to sing now. Those throbbing memories reminded me that, at that point of time, i wasn't alone.
I was with you.
Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind's Movie Still
"I've been wandering around.
Making up movies in my head
so we say don't let it go.
Let me try and pull out pride.
I already forget how i used to feel about you."
Circa Survive, Meet Me In Montauk.