Just Ju: October 2010

Saturday, October 23, 2010

No Rights Reserved.

I think if I'm angry then that means there's a source for it. Yet, I just can't seem to find it. It's like a small parasite etched within and eating me from inside. All I can do is just thrash around with pain, making a scene while the rest of my friends wonder what's going on with me.

I prefer to bottle up my emotions. It is safer that way. People used to coax me to let it out, claiming they can understand, they can handle it. They don't and they can't. In the end, they just conveniently brush me off. And I'm thrashing more violently than ever with all those emotions that has ran amok.

I hate to complain. Coming from a comfortable middle class family, people constantly expecting me to whine at every vexations. Truth is, I don't have that right. The image of individuals facing a more challenging situation always throw me back. It felt as if someone is shaming and lashing at my face, and soon I'm pushed in deeper into my shell.

Sometimes, I felt as if I don't have the right to be myself. I'm just being consumed slowly by an unknown that has known me so well.

Ph: Julius Kensan

"There in the midst of it,
so alive and alone.
Words support like bone."

Fever Ray, Mercy Street.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

The Bottled Garden.

It's hard to own a luscious and beautiful garden in a small country like Singapore. That's why I'm so excited when I found Paperus, a company in Singapore to come up with the 'plant in a bottle' concepts. To put it simply, It's a bottled garden.

The maintenance is very low and it makes perfect gift for any occasion too. Oh, did I mention that they accept special request and each handmade bottles are available for purchase too? Maybe I'll get myself 'a garden' for my new room. I was like a small kid in a candy store when I saw those last night.

www.paperus.com.sg

"We speak in the store.

I'm a sensitive bore.

You seem markedly more.

And I'm oozing surprise."

Joanna Newsom, Peach Plum Pear.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Modern Ragpicker.

I hope putting this up won't make me look like a navel-gazer. Just thought of sharing some of my works with all of you guys. I did an editorial spread for school assignment a few days ago in this run down house somewhere I would not visit again.

You would not believe how smelly it is! Shits are literally everywhere. My friends are like "Human shit or dog shit?". Who cares? Shit is shit! I even stepped on it. Still, fortunately I'm able to get it all done within half an hour.

I won't explain what's the concept here. I hope the title and styling would tell the story itself. However, questions are always welcome.

Ph: Julius Kensan

Styling: Julius Kensan

"Out in the thunder,

opens my eyes wide.

There is something in my mind,

keeps me up at night."

Glasser, Apply.

Gladly Beyond.

Its hard to experience cold weather in Singapore. These days, I've developed a habit of looking at the sky constantly, wishing for billowing clouds to gather and pour its essence down ruthlessly. Rain is not the one that I'm waiting for. Instead, I'm coveting after the clean fresh air after the heavy downpour.

When that happens, I'll be lusting over the lonely walk by the empty streets during the night. Listening to songs, pretending that I was being watched from behind. Carefully pacing my steps so that I won't be walking too fast while letting the cold breeze bites into my cheeks.

I'm not sure why am I constantly craving for this kind of moment. But I guess its a wholesome kind of loneliness that I'm drawn to. The positive kind. It feels like taking every parts of me back from family, friends, school, work and society. I feel fulfilled, like sweeping pieces of scattered, broken vase together into a pile.

Then again, I think I know why I need it. I need to feel like I own myself at least once in awhile. Again and again.