Gladly Beyond.

Its hard to experience cold weather in Singapore. These days, I've developed a habit of looking at the sky constantly, wishing for billowing clouds to gather and pour its essence down ruthlessly. Rain is not the one that I'm waiting for. Instead, I'm coveting after the clean fresh air after the heavy downpour.

When that happens, I'll be lusting over the lonely walk by the empty streets during the night. Listening to songs, pretending that I was being watched from behind. Carefully pacing my steps so that I won't be walking too fast while letting the cold breeze bites into my cheeks.

I'm not sure why am I constantly craving for this kind of moment. But I guess its a wholesome kind of loneliness that I'm drawn to. The positive kind. It feels like taking every parts of me back from family, friends, school, work and society. I feel fulfilled, like sweeping pieces of scattered, broken vase together into a pile. 

Then again, I think I know why I need it. I need to feel like I own myself at least once in awhile. Again and again.

Ph: Hedi Slimane

"Let me breath for you.

 Let me know you do.

 Let me take the pain for you.

 And let me see it through you eyes."

 Glasser, T.

All Alright.

These days, it felt as if I'm not keeping up with time. It's like being in a subway, I'm as still as can be and yet I'm helpless with how fast it travels to my next destination. It frustrates me that when I looked out, all I see is blur passing image of concrete. I'm incapable of doing anything to slow it down, other than to arrive at the next stop.

I guess that's why I have strong urge to see myself in a third person's view. An eye, a camera that follows me whenever i go, to see every singles moves, every single display of emotions and the look of my eyes when I'm in static. Like a short trailer of a movie that was never made in the first place.

I just want to believe that everything was already pre-planned like a short well-directed film.

I walked home alone. I jumped into a pool. I laughed. I'm slept soundly. I yelled. I took a poetic steps towards the traffic lights. I gasped at the cold shower. I felled. I lied. I ate by the window sill. I clapped. I sang. 

So that by watching myself, I'll turn myself into an object. I'll be able to reinforce who I really am and to acknowledge all of what I've saw, which truly belong to me. And so, by watching myself, I knew why I did what I did. A sense of relief, that for temporarily, it's alright to rest at the bank of time and watch it flows pass me.

Ph: Hedi Slimane

"

                                     "

Max Richter, Infra 4.

May Obsession

The city view at night

CocoRosie | Grey Oceans

Don't judge the album by its cover too.

Ph: Arthur Elgort

Ice cream

Ph: Bo Egestroem

Septum piercing

Source: Fashionisto.com

Johen and Jorg peroutka

Ph: Hedi Slimane

Thinking about my lost youth..

"Kiss the lips of bloody twins.

 Sung to by a slew of sirens.

 Tricky mermaids,

 evil pirates."

 CocoRosie, The Moon Asked The Crow.

"Ulv, Ulv, Ulv"

Ph: Hedi Slimane

Ladies and gentlemen, i present you Sylvester Ulv who is still young enough (He's only 15 years old by the way) to make everyone feels like a pedophile.

No doubt the coming season will see him explode into a real star on the runways and campaigns.

"Punk rock t-shirt,

black cap and tattoo.

The first thing i notice about you."

The Knife, N.Y Hotel.

It's a long rant, read it or leave it.

My friend said that i'm someone who loves to keep things to myself and when i kept it for too long, i'll just erupt into a giant crater swallowing up everything.

Well, i need time to reflect on the things that was said or done to me. I have to go through it so that i can make sense of what's going on and where does my fault lies.

I've been keeping this for too long and now i don't want to choose any of my words with discretion anymore.

People just conveniently dismissed me as bad-tempered. Yes, i'm bad-tempered but i don't get irritated without any reasons. Why can't you realised that if only you can just shut your mouth and stop wasting time on being fickle-minded, it can make things so much easier?

Don't just victimised me just because i'm raising my voice a lil'. And don't give me reasons that you're a girl. Blah. You girls only know how to expect guys to be nice, patient and gentlemen all the time. How far back do you want to go? Do you still want to be able to vote? Do you still want to be able to wear pants?

Secondly, it is stupid having to know, lets say, what people are listening to these days, so as to be able to relate to them. I'm not a big fan of Lady Gaga but that doesn't i'm not capable of holding a good conversation to someone who is a fan. Why does what we listen to have to be dictated as well? Do you understand what does it really mean to relate? To relate goes beyond what a person listen to or what the person do. I want listen, watch and read on whatever i like.

Lastly, i know of the stereotype that you guys have put on me. So what if i'm one? Don't claim to be so loving and all when you can't accept me for who i am. If i have to put on a mask whenever i'm with all of you, i'd rather stay at home and sleep.

Ph: Hedi Slimane

"My friends they don't really get me,

think i'm the only one.

Well, i sold my soul to Jesus

and since then i had no fun."

Laura Marling, The Captain and The Hourglass.

A Way To Start The Day

These days, i felt so unmotivated and dusty like an old shelf. Seems like the adrenaline that i'm injecting myself with is not enough. I've been getting weird emotions lately and its surging inside me like some weird, psychotic songs.

I seriously don't know what to do with this energy where the thoughts involved ran along the line of pushing someone i dislike down the stairs.

But i reckoned too much things going on during day would not be good for my dreams in the night. Two days ago, i dreamed that i fell on the road because of 'something' and cried as if i'm the source of Niagra Falls.

Ph: Hedi Slimane

I seriously can't wait for Chinese New Year. I need to feel safe again and i only get that when i'm with my family.

"And when it lands,

will my eyes be closed

or open?"

Bjork, Hyper Ballad.

January Obsession (Overload)

Charlotte Gainsbourg | IRM

Ph: JM Ferrater

Yes Alex, keep it coming!

Ph: Ben Toms

A little reminiscence of Ash..

Ph: Eric Sposito

River Viiperi

Source: thefashionisto.com

Lanvin Fall Winter 2010 Menswear Collection

Source: thefashionisto.com

Asymmetrical Cape.

Source: thefashionisto.com

Burberry Prorsum Fall Winter 2010 Menswear Collection.

(Where Alex Dunstan opened and closed the show!)

Source: thefashionisto.com

Rick Owens Fall Winter 2010 Menswear Collection

Source: thefashionisto.com

Raf Simons Fall Winter 2010 Menswear Collection.

(My God, it's flawless. And stripes, don't forget the stripes!)

Source: thefashionisto.com

YSL Fall Winter 2010 Menswear Collection

Source: coacdinc.com

Ursula Konina

Source: coacdinc.com

Alexander Cunha

Chess, anyone?

FM Belfast | How To Make Friends

Laura Veirs | July Flame

Ph: Hedi Slimane

Keeping myself skinny and flexible. HA!

(And you can't stop me)

"No more looking back,

looking back,

looking back,

faded epitaph."

Laura Veirs, Wide-Eyed, Legless.

What kind of loneliness?

Every kind.

Ph: Hedi Slimane

Merry Christmas everyone. Love you all to bits.

"For I know the plans

I have for you,

declares the Lord,...

Plans to give you hope

and a future."

Jeremiah 29 : 11

The Nothing Song.

I don't know how it happened but i just stumbled upon our conversation history. It felt as if an entire of memories that i'm slowly forgetting just swirled right into me like a tornado.

All those silly banters and entire night of teasing really made me smile. Now, i even have to imagine how you're doing.

Do you still go for run at every breaking dawn?

Do you still have pictures of mine with you?

Does the cat still loves to sleep under your bed?

And i remember all the sweet-nothings we shared. Telling me that i've nothing to be shy or ashamed about. I realized its really is nothing in the end because words can only mean so much.

All these memories that suddenly flooded my mind felt so surreal. Like waking up in the morning, just to realized i'm alone.

Ph: Hedi Slimane

Still, i wish you a Merry Christmas. And i wish you love.

"

"

Sigur Ros, Untitled 1.

Maybe It's Just Narcissism.

Millions of people out there, especially the teenagers definitely haven't heard of Karin Dreijer Andersson alias Fever Ray. And i guess that's why they're going so 'gaga' over Lady Gaga.

And i'm having it up to my head when everywhere that i go, all i can hear is about Lady Gaga. If they think that Lady Gaga is so original in terms of her music video and wardrobe then they definitely have to crack their head and think again. This one half of The Knife has so much more to offer in terms of art and culture that will definitely remain timeless.

Here's Fever Ray with her 'skeleton teeth' make-up for If I had A Heart music video. Who says Lady Gaga is the only one worth imitating for your Halloween night?

She even went further and has her face painted like a Tribal Princess while most of the people out there gushed about Lady Gaga's paint splattered face.

In terms of clothing, do you still think Lady Gaga has the weirdest outfit of them all?

Fever Ray was actually birthed from the fact that her band, The Knife was getting so much exposure in the music industry that she decided to take a break and return again as a solo artist under a new name. The band was notorious for rejecting interviews and refused to perform live. Thus is the peculiar trait of Karin, shunning away from the limelight.

Still, i know that by talking about her, i'd be going against her wish to be so exposed by the media. However, i reckoned that Fever Ray's music is like a strict territory that one might find it difficult to get in.

Of course, it wouldn't be fair if i didn't explain to you guys why Lady Gaga was considerably over-rated, would i?

Sometimes, i don't understand the concept of her music video. Her songs are actually easy to understand with her simple lyrics but yet the storyline is atrocious. Half of the time, i'm trying to figure out what exactly she's trying to say. It seems like the video is nothing other than parading around in the latest runway outfit with a face that says, "Look bitches, i'm got it faster than Carine Roitfeld do."

Actually, i'd love her if she wasn't this commercialized. Honestly, the music felt as if i'm eating a food that has been touched, licked, bit and stepped upon, where at the end of the day, all i get is something that is impersonal.

I know i'm fighting a lone war against everyone's love for Lady Gaga. Heck, even famed stylist Nicola Formichetti and much adored Grace Coddington were gushing about her. So there's no wonder that she's appeared in most of the fashion magazine.

I've heard a lot of comments from my friends that the cover of her Fame Monster was incredible. Of course, it is. It is shot by Hedi Slimane, for God's sake, for those who are too ignorant to know.

Still, i have to stress that all these rants are not because i hate Lady Gaga. In fact, i find her sweet especially where she ordered pizzas for thousands of her fans who queued up to see her and the song 'Speechless' was written to convince her dad to go for an crucial surgery.

To me, Lady Gaga was just too over-rated.

I know, you guys might find all my raving with anything that has to do with Bjork over-rated too. Like her magazine cover on Rolling Stone and Interview a few months back. Still, she did all this without being pompous at all.

So i guess, in the end the only to blame for all this is Commercialism itself.

All pictures taken from Google Image

DEATH TO COMMERCIALISM!

For those of you who are still bitter and think that i'm picking on your beloved Lady Gaga, please write another article or post to counter me back. i could do without stupid comments like "F*** You' , 'You can suck my d***' or what have you. Thank You.

"Lick, lick, lick

my art tit.

Suck, suck, suck

my art hole."

CSS, Art Bitch.

Don't Take Me Back To The Start.

I have never been this hardworking in my whole life, not even for my 'O' level. Even when i told myself i wanted to go into one of the best Junior College in Singapore. So i guess my resolve is not that strong at that point of time.

But this is so different. Ever since i got into Lasalle, i felt like i'm in this mix of summer and military camp. I had such a great time with all of my classmates (Well, the 'all' part is a tad exaggerated) and then came all of this crazy, extremely packed deadlines that i barely manage to breath.

Sometimes, i just sat there staring at my lecturers when they gave (yet another) projects at us. I just zonked out. I just want to laugh and pissed my lecturers for pissing me as well.

However, i find myself kind of enjoying all these works. Partly because i never knew i could go this far and partly also because i love what i'm doing now albeit not all.

Stress? Yes i am. But i don't want to run away again. I'm tired of it. I don't want to repeat what i'm doing two years ago when all those anxieties mounted up to my head. At least i want to run with purpose in mind, not like some headless chickens getting nowhere at it.

I'm not calling those who run away are weak. I think everyone just needs to get their priorities right.

And, i'm slowly picking myself up from all those 'bruises' few months ago. Still building that shell bits by bits, though it may not as strong as before, i just don't want to be a crab without a shell.

Ph: Hedi Slimane

"Nobody said it was easy.

It's such a shame for us to part.

Nobody said it was easy.

No one ever said it would be this hard."

Coldplay, Scientist.

October Obsession

Source: vogue.fr

Vogue Paris, November 2009

Ph: Panos Yiapanis

Bleached eyebrows.

The Antlers | Hospice

Joan Pedrola

Source: coacdinc.com

Alex Dunstan

Source: Jak & Jil

Turban!

Ph: Jacob Sutton

A dose of Ash every now and then.

Source: models.com

Alexander McQueen SS 2010 collection.

Ryan Taylor

Ph: Hedi Slimane

And i can't stress this enough, SLEEP!

"Don't be scared to speak.

Don't speak with someone's tooth.

Don't bargain when you're weak.

Don't take that sharp abuse."

The Antlers, Wake.

The Only Place Called Home

It felt like years since i last blogged. But you guys have to pardon me because school works are catching up and i've been living on Redbulls and few hours of sleep for the past few weeks.

Being alone in Singapore away from my family proved to be lethal. Sometimes, i felt like i went to a home and straight into a room where i don't have any connections at all. Honestly, i felt like an orphan.

Its no wonder than i felt so nostalgic for these past few days, i wanted to go back home and sleep on the same bed with my parents as i did when i was young. To hear the faint breathing sound of my mum and dad's.

The thought of it keeps me warm. I feel safe and secure.

So i just want to get the assessment done in these two weeks time and work on my plan of going back to my family during the December.

Ph: Hedi Slimane

"The makeshift snow cave settled slightly,

but held us in and sheltered us.

Like Mum and Dad,

they always helped us."

Laura Veirs, Snow Camping.