I have never been this hardworking in my whole life, not even for my 'O' level. Even when i told myself i wanted to go into one of the best Junior College in Singapore. So i guess my resolve is not that strong at that point of time.
But this is so different. Ever since i got into Lasalle, i felt like i'm in this mix of summer and military camp. I had such a great time with all of my classmates (Well, the 'all' part is a tad exaggerated) and then came all of this crazy, extremely packed deadlines that i barely manage to breath.
Sometimes, i just sat there staring at my lecturers when they gave (yet another) projects at us. I just zonked out. I just want to laugh and pissed my lecturers for pissing me as well.
However, i find myself kind of enjoying all these works. Partly because i never knew i could go this far and partly also because i love what i'm doing now albeit not all.
Stress? Yes i am. But i don't want to run away again. I'm tired of it. I don't want to repeat what i'm doing two years ago when all those anxieties mounted up to my head. At least i want to run with purpose in mind, not like some headless chickens getting nowhere at it.
I'm not calling those who run away are weak. I think everyone just needs to get their priorities right.
And, i'm slowly picking myself up from all those 'bruises' few months ago. Still building that shell bits by bits, though it may not as strong as before, i just don't want to be a crab without a shell.
Ph: Hedi Slimane
"Nobody said it was easy.
It's such a shame for us to part.
Nobody said it was easy.
No one ever said it would be this hard."