Its hard to experience cold weather in Singapore. These days, I've developed a habit of looking at the sky constantly, wishing for billowing clouds to gather and pour its essence down ruthlessly. Rain is not the one that I'm waiting for. Instead, I'm coveting after the clean fresh air after the heavy downpour.
When that happens, I'll be lusting over the lonely walk by the empty streets during the night. Listening to songs, pretending that I was being watched from behind. Carefully pacing my steps so that I won't be walking too fast while letting the cold breeze bites into my cheeks.
I'm not sure why am I constantly craving for this kind of moment. But I guess its a wholesome kind of loneliness that I'm drawn to. The positive kind. It feels like taking every parts of me back from family, friends, school, work and society. I feel fulfilled, like sweeping pieces of scattered, broken vase together into a pile.
Then again, I think I know why I need it. I need to feel like I own myself at least once in awhile. Again and again.
Ph: Hedi Slimane
"Let me breath for you.
Let me know you do.
Let me take the pain for you.
And let me see it through you eyes."