I Bet It's Chilly Over There

Could Never Be?

Only God knows

when will the healing start.

At the meantime,

It continues to wrench apart.

You left with no

physical souvenirs to keep.

Only solitary nights

for me to babysit.

The Lord does not belong

to this equation.

But, when blood is involved,

i got to raise the question.

Each day, there is bigger shell to fill.

Soon, the only option left is to sink.

Somewhere outside the window,

an owl is curious to know.

Trying to catch a glimpse

of our history.

Then flew away to tell of

it's glory.

Without revealing to lovers

the rest of our tragedy.

Julius Kensan

( Sentimental Freak )

Reason Why.

Fallen Eyelashes

The sun stepped in

before we fell too deep.

Because our love

is way too steep.

I'm pacing back and forth

unwilling to move to the north.

If silence is golden,

you've crowned yourself the King.

And my wound's still open,

unsure of what tunes to sing.

If its not accident,

what's the reason behind all this?

A reason.

Yes, one is enough.

As long as it comes out

from your mouth.

Then, preparation of reunion

is on the way.

And Faith that pounds in my chest,

can't help but wails,

"Come what may!"

Julius Kensan

( Sentimental Freak )

It Should Be Over Soon.

You

In early spring,

you sang a hypnotising tune.

Now, you've got me

paying my due.

You asked,

when will i be joining you?

And i answered,

in another year or two.

You've always been

reluctant to speak your mind.

In the end,

you chose silence over goodbye.

I wish you could

at least lie.

You're forcing me to die.

I'm seething towards

the ceiling.

Apologising for nothing.

Your sweet nothings

still set me thinking.

Am i not to your liking?

What brought us to

such ending?

Julius Kensan

( Sentimental Freak )

Thanks Juliette.

Out Of Honey

Why wait 'till sunrise?

We'd still pick up a fight.

I bite,

so you decide.

A kiss will destroy

the scene.

Don't get started with me.

Show me a backflip.

Give me something i can keep.

Do you know

where to go?

Give me ten bucks

and i'll bring you home.

Do you know

its just a thought?

So don't let your minds

run amok.

How low

do you want me to go?

I tried it once

and they can't get enough.

What are you

willing to throw?

'Cause you fits me

like a glove.

Julius Kensan

( Sentimental Freak )

Its All Architectural.

Morality Of A Body

They're still laughing.

How i managed it,

it is still a mystery.

Trying to comb your hair

with my teeth.

Eagerly prompting

the leftover memories.

It will wind up as

a ringing sound in my ear.

When i reach into

my pants,

it is not pornography.

Soon, someone will take over

my reverie.

When the sun

warms my toes,

Where are our tattoos?

I'll bargain their

laugh for tee-hee.

Questioning what is

truly dear to me.

Julius Kensan

( Sentimental Freak )

Mind Is A Razorblade.

A Touch Is Better Than None

An extra pillow

just to evoke the isolation.

Only if you sink that low.

For the time being,

list it under probation.

An extra mirror

to make fun of the situation.

Me and my reflection

only equals to one.

Where's the fun?

Insomnia can't take the pun.

I'll sublime into the night,

If disappearance is the

best guideline.

Julius Kensan

( Sentimental Freak )

The Real Formula of Distance

Less Meaningless

Every bites would mean something.

Even if its imaginary.

Desperate for something ordinary

between you and me.

What if it happens like a movie?

Walking past each other on the street.

Send me something even if its funny.

A postcard full of kiwis.

What is fixed by destiny?

I'm still waiting for you

to answer me.

It didn't started off easy.

It should never be.

I bet the weather's chilly.

In the car, i can see you

shivering.

Still having something sleeveless

to entice me.

I'd want to know

what do these means.

Julius Kensan

( Sentimental Freak )

You Should Be Holding Me.

Road To December

I live in a town

somewhere in the east.

Only roam when there

is mist.

Found a coin

down the empty street.

Tossed it out for a wish.

That i'll hum myself to sleep

'til it no longer bleeds.

Somewhere in the south,

i'm gasping for your mouth.

Enticing me with your divine tattoo.

Just love it when you coo.

Hope you kept it in your mind

that i'm one of a kind.

The way our love travels.

Swallowed by the calm sea.

So much more to unravel.

I pray for our eyes to see.

As dangerous as it can be.

Hope should never leave.

Julius Kensan

( Sentimental Freak )

I'm going back to Indo today for three weeks, so i don't think i'll be uploading any posts 'til then. Take care everyone =)

P.S Ang, Matt sorry for not being able to join you guys, i'll make it up to you one day yea? And i think you're pushing your mum's limit with that tattoo, Fra, haha.

Cacophonies For The Awfully Alone

Cacophonies of Silence

Shouldn't you feel lonely

after a long walk?

Chasing time

all around the clock.

We survived the crumbling walls.

Now silence is demanding

a talk.

It never remain for

more than a month.

Now, it got me planted

deep in the yard.

I saw you thrice in my dream.

Seething at me with your

deformed teeth.

You disposed 

the dearest from me.

I staged a riot

to drive away the solitary.

Fighting a losing war

predicting mental rising

from afar.

Julius Kensan

( Sentimental Freak )

Mask Me

Myself, Tonight

Oh~ December,

hold on a lil' while more.

Only i know the reason why.

Dots appearing on the surface,

tearing my confidence apart.

Please, i can't see myself tonight.

Haunting me with all its might.

Please, i can't see myself tonight.

To kill myself, i just might.

One out of five,

i've received the worst.

I wish to smear the stars

right in your eyes.

To see how it will

only shine for me.

Camouflaging away

 all of my ugliness.

I can't see myself tonight.

In front the mirror,

i won't recognize.

So please i can't see myself tonight,

remembering how i look like

is the last thing on my mind.

Julius Kensan

( Sentimental Freak )

How Deep Is Deep?

Seventh Sense

We could

imagine all the time from the start.

How time passed too fast,

all lost in the woods.

From another continent

you heave a collective love

streaming like a sensual curve

at the stroke of midnight.

We just got started

and loving is what we do best.

A bottle of rum and

plenty of kiwis to suck on.

Right in my mouth,

got me gasping for a chain of pearls.

And we'll touch

just as the fantasies served.

I'll put my eyes

right at my neck.

To see the look on your face.

The way you thirst for my skin.

I'm the only place

you seek to hide.

You're the only one

i'll seek to please.

Julius Kensan

( Sentimental Freak )

You're the place i call home.

To Hold

Miles and miles across

the globe.

Baby, you know

i can't make it alone.

You have the face,

i've always wanted to hold.

And now,

i'm going back home,

back to you.

If my words meant to hurt,

you'll not be on my mind.

Now, please don't go.

Stay for a while,

i have to heal the wound.

Where my hands could touch,

it'll seek to please.

Time is just

something we're not used to.

Long nights need

each other's warmth desperately.

And i think of you, 

how you'll smile for me.

Julius Kensan

( Sentimental Freak )

Will Minds Regret

Next To You

Its alright.

Two words i always say.

To the you, it follows.

To myself, it scowls.

I'm letting myself go.

Losing myself, gaining yourself.

A sweet compromise

that others despise.

Tell the rest.

The way i'm draining you dry,

curling you up in my blood.

Drinking from miles away.

I dare not sleep,

without you tugged by my side.

Deafening silence

is all i hear and sing.

Pale ruby red lips

gasping for each other's kiss.

Julius Kensan

( Sentimental Freak )

"Let's grow old together

 and die at the same time.

 Let's grow old together

 and die at the same time."

 The White Lies, To lose My Life.

Mail Read

Geography

As long as there are

you and me,

Distance is just

a mere geography.

Hold that guilt.

For what happened

was uncalled for.

You needn't pay at all.

You're a binding spell

i cast upon myself

over and over,

willingly.

You can't hurt me

with your good intentions.

Just one smile,

i'll give the most attentions.

Julius Kensan

( Sentimental Freak )

"Its not about geography

 or happenstance.

 You need to fly

 and take a chance."

 Rachael Yamagata, Sunday Afternoon

Unconditionally and Irrevocably

  Absolutely Positive

Time is ticking.

My heart is beating.

The strike of the midnight

where you're whispering through.

A sexual being,

waiting to be tamed.

Miles away,

fighting the urge to tempt.

Your steely brown gaze

locking me to place.

The romantic kind,

unfailing smile.

Hope seems real.

 Months to be count.

I'm rushing forward

into the waiting arms.

Julius Kensan

( Sentimental Freak )

  Anyway, I'll blog less until April after my semester ended. So to all my faithful readers, you guys can check up my blog just once in a week =)

"I can hear your heartbeat,

 where i lay my head.

 'cause you got me.

 Yea, you got me."

 She and Him, Got Me

Plight One's Troth

Plight One's Troth

Its easier to pretend.

Trying to mask it.

My intention isn't pure.

A need to be fulfilled.

I'm going along with it.

'cause he is innocent.

What i'm doing is wrong.

No longer sane.

There's no need to be.

The moth is running out of time.

Light is pulling its life.

Taking over the reaper.

The desires are inviting.

Not the time to plight one's troth.

No longer sane.

Sane. Sane. Insane.

There's no need to be.

Destination is fixed.

Julius Kensan

( Sentimental Freak )

"Oh God, now when is the time for me?

 When will you see me through?

 Oh God, my mind is eating my heart out.

 Oh God, my heart is beating my mind up."

 Ida Maria, See Me Through

Human Behaviour

Fiery Chariot

Oh fiery chariot,

swing by the earth.

Hanging by so low,

all of us waiting to get home.

Oh fiery chariot,

rush down with the wind.

There's enough room,

for all of us to get in.

Oh fiery chariot,

please tell your master.

All of us

want to go home.

Julius Kensan

( Sentimental Freak )

Anyway, i can't wait for Chinese New Year, to go back and see my family again. 

School has started on monday and things have been going the way it should be. However, this semester starts with lots of dramatic events. I know right? I love this kind of dirt. I got so excited that i can barely blink.

I just want to let things go the way it should be and watch it from afar. As in, i'm not saying that i'm so mean to see horrible stuffs happened but i just love to observe the reactions and the behaviour of my classmates. 

Human emotions intrigue to no end.

 

I want to study it. 

I want to understand how our brain behaves.

Maybe someday i know how my mind works as well.

"The pleasure is all mine.

 To get to be the generous one,

 is the strongest stance.

 The pleasure is all mine."

 Bjork, The Pleasure Is All Mine

Learn The History

History

Never been kind,

even under the morning light.

Seizing me over completely,

spinning me head over heels.

You work best with guilt,

shooting arrows of memories.

I wish to melt into you,

morphing your past into figures.

Nailing it without fail,

pushing me over the ledge.

My tonsil could not help

but to scream out your name.

Julius Kensan

( Sentimental Freak )

On a lighter note, Bobo dropped by 'Nicholas' just now to visit me. He got me my favourite Green Tea Latte from Starbucks and things got a lil' crazy from then on.

Hold on while i satisfy my craving.

What could go wrong right?

Caffeine intruding my minds.

S.O.S

I need to get a hold on myself.

But WHO CARES?

My closest to Prada Fall/Winter 2008

Or Maison Martin Margiela

Perhaps a little Suvi Koponen-ish on the Calvin Klein campaign.

I'm off the hook.

Digesting my caffeine fast.

So you wanna see more?

Too bad! That's all folks =)

Mr. Snowman

Christmas is just around the corner, two more weeks to be exact. I have been naughty and nice, Santa must have been having a tough time. But, its alright Santa, be it naughty or nice, i'll still take the title anyway =)

I'll be alone this Christmas, since everyone has their own plans and i'm working on that day itself. I guess its a good time to be alone and wish the Lord 'Happy Birthday'. He might even drop me a visit ( I wish! )

Daion will definitely spending it with that person even though he'll hate to admit it, haha and Steph will probably spend it with her brothers ( You should, Steph ).

How i wish it is snowing down here, so i can build my own snowman and call it Frosty. Then we can sit outside under the snow as the day pass by.

Mr. Snowman

Its coming on Christmas.

Built out of warmth,

left outside alone,

forced to fake a smile,

coldness sank into heart.

Oh, Mr. Snowman,

i'll stay put with you

whole night.

I'll show you how summer feels,

we're loathed by warmth.

Don't shed any tear,

it'll be lost among the snow.

Though winter is full of mercy,

the spring is punishing.

Our beauties will be reduced

into nothing.

Oh, Mr. Snowman.

Let's hide underground.

We'll dream of waves

and busy footsteps up

the ground.

Dear Mr. Snowman.

The things we freely give,

the Celcius stole.

Julius Kensan

( Sentimental Freak )