The Naked Truth

What do you do when you have the entire room to yourself?

I'm not sure actually.

Last semester, Glenn and Matt told me that they often sleep naked and its great. They said i should give it a try.

I tried.

It was weird.

In the end, i still cover myself up with blanket.

I'm confused actually. To sleep naked means to sleep with nothing on. So if i were to put blanket on, does that still counts?

I felt like calling them up and tell them it doesn't feel so good.

But i think i'll do that when i see them in school on monday.

"Morsecoding signals.

 They pulsate and wake me up

 from my hibernating."

 Bjork, Pagan Poetry

I Want

I have not been eating well for this past week.

I'm not sure why. I'm too surprised at my sudden decreased appetite for food.

Stress from school projects? I'm not sure. I really not sure at all.

Whenever i eat something, it felt as if my entire body cells are resisting against the nutrients that i'm feeding them with.

Anyway, I went to have dinner cum supper with Daion and Steph. I didn't eat much though, but it was fun catching up with them. I can really just pour everything on them and they'll still take it well.

Somehow, i'm hungry for this specific something...

I'm desiring for...

"My friends are telling me,

 I shouldn't waste my time.

 But i can't concentrate

 until i make you mine."

 Rachael Yamagata, I Want You

Tonight

Guess what? My Landlord told two of my roommates to move out. Its about time anyway. They have been terrorising the entire house with their awful pitchy noise accompanied with their lousy guitar tunes due to their lousy serenading skills.

And they behaved as if they're up for slaughter whenever they talk. Of course i'm not going to tell you guys which country their from ;)

Yet, when i was about to sleep last night, it suddenly felt so awfully quiet. I switched my desk lamp on, to get a lil' company...

It felt a lil' melancholy. The golden light from the lamp and deafening silence are something that i'm used to long ago. Now they're back. It reminds me of Van Gogh's famous Starry Night painting.

How i wish to have someone ( not just anyone ) beside me, humming made-up songs to keep me company so that i don't need the desk lamp on.

And in the end, its that thought that kept me company. 

The thought that somebody is thinking of me that comforted me.

"Underneath the moon,

 underneath the stars.

 Here's a little heart

 for you."

 Lenka, Don't Let Me Fall

Try It Once In Awhile

School's semester is ending soon in two months before i get my much deserving rest. I simply can't wait. I need to get out of the hectic schedule and breath before starting to miss school again.

I know, its a vicious cycle =T

Anyhow, i did charcoal drawing by sticking the chunky charcoal onto a long stick on January.

We were told to draw our classmates. So i drew Billy and vice versa.

Though there are similarities in between, i must admit i've made Billy looked more Indonesian than he already is, haha. In Indonesia, people would have call him 'Bapak' if Billy do looked like what i've drawn.

If you're wondering how does Billy looked like, there you go.

Anyhow, Billy made me looked too cool and too androgynous for my own sake. Still, i like it =)

"That's all i need, that's all i need.

 Traveling on domestic train,

 won't lead me astray.

 That was just an offer i had to, i had to take."

 The Concretes, Foreign Country

Look out!

This week has been pretty crazy, especially the workload that i get from school. 

100% of madness. Sweet. I'll definitely have so much fun and knock myself out. HA

So while i was researching on artist on my next project, i chanced upon book illustrator, Janet and Anne Grahame Johnstone. 

I realised that backstabbing among girls have already begun way back then in those time. ( You know those time? )

This is a tale about how a fairy tale isn't about sugar, spice and everything nice.

"Hi Mr perverted-probably-paedophile-yet-willing-to-eat-my-saggy-wrinkly-grandma wolf, i found a couple, a few miles away hanky-pankying in the woods." , said the love-to-ride riding hood innocently.

"Alright, i'll check them out. ( Of course, i'll come back for you once i ate them )" , replied the wolf sternly.

"Ah-ha, take that Hansel & Gretel! That's what you get for telling everyone that i'm a bullimic. Now i just need to wait for the news of your death splashed across the headline tomorrow." , she laughed excitedly and went to find a place to vomit the Croissant that she had this morning.

"Is it me or something bad is really gonna happened?" Hansel mumbled to herself.

Alright, those are just made up story. But really, do check out their works, its really amazing.

"Woah! Look out!

 Look what she came for.

 Look what she came for.

 No question, no doubt."

 Franz Ferdinand, What She Came For

Mess Me Up

So many things to do, so little time.

I guess its perfectly fine to be mad with myself?

My room is just as messed up as my life is.

On another note, its becoming into an interactive art by itself. 

If you dig these kind of stuffs.

I'm so tired. i need to sleep yet i have to keep going on... I'm looking forward to holidays... I'm looking forward to Christmas...

"I go through all this,

 before you wake up.

 So i can feel happier,

 to be save up here with you."

 Bjork, Hyperballad.

As We Lay Down To Bed

Yes, a peaceful and non-eventful Valentine's day is all i need.

Observing lovers from a great distance while still thriving best in the hermit's style.

For those who are singles like me, well, you can't hurry love.

"Boy, did you hear me say?

 Did you hear me say now?

 Love ain't far.

 Well i've done mine, done mine, done mine."

 The Concretes, You Can't Hurry Love.

Love is a four-letter word

Once again, Ash is as playful and charming as ever.

*From models.com

Everyone should relax and enjoy some time doing things that they want to do =)

" The four-letter word got stuck in my head.

 The dirtiest word that i've ever said.

 It's making me feel alright.

 For what it's worth, i love you.

 For what it's worth, i really do."

 The Cardigans, For what Its Worth

Come Forth, Carry Me Home...

What would you do when you wanted to talk or see someone so badly and yet was separated by distance?

Have you ever miss someone so badly yet you haven't met that person yet?

We humans never like to admit being a fool in anything. Yet we are always a fool in the eyes of love.

Just a thought.

Happy Valentine's everyone.

Just a thought.

"Wait with me, wait with me.

 I'm alive when you're here with me,

 here with me, stay.

 And i'll find a way to see you again."

Rachael Yamagata, I'll Find A Way.

Fallen

"Though i've tried, i've fallen.

 I have sunk so low.

 I messed up,

 better i should know.

 So don't come round here

 and tell me 'I told you so'. "

Sarah MacLachlan, Fallen.

Yes, i've fallen yet again.

It seems that i have a knack for messing things up...

Oh God~

Thirsty Forest

Have you guys read about the forest fires in Australia recently? Seriously, its heart-breaking. Not only it has claimed up to 166 lives ( excluding the poor animals ), it has also destroyed plenty of houses and animals' habitat.

Police suspect that arsonists were behind it. Seriously, i think those arsonists are really big meanies! Have they ever thought of the consequences? Since the temperature is soaring over at 47 C ( That's like being in a giant oven ) in Australia, they should have know better! Plus the fire is traveling as fast as wind! Can you imagine that? It'll outrun me like totally. ( And some of my friends as well, i know who they are )

But tales of survival are extraordinary. A mother sheltered her children in a wombat burrow, a man took refuge in his pool and two persons barely escaped by hiding in the drainage pipe. 

My heart went out to all those victims out there. I hope the situation will get better again. 

"Now the raging of the forest fires end

 and all the mammals fled.

 I smell in the charred darkness.

 A little green, a little red."

 Laura Veirs, Drink Deep

Plight One's Troth

Plight One's Troth

Its easier to pretend.

Trying to mask it.

My intention isn't pure.

A need to be fulfilled.

I'm going along with it.

'cause he is innocent.

What i'm doing is wrong.

No longer sane.

There's no need to be.

The moth is running out of time.

Light is pulling its life.

Taking over the reaper.

The desires are inviting.

Not the time to plight one's troth.

No longer sane.

Sane. Sane. Insane.

There's no need to be.

Destination is fixed.

Julius Kensan

( Sentimental Freak )

"Oh God, now when is the time for me?

 When will you see me through?

 Oh God, my mind is eating my heart out.

 Oh God, my heart is beating my mind up."

 Ida Maria, See Me Through

A Wake Me Up

Its so quiet over here at Marina Square and since no one is really walking into 'Nicholas', i went over to youtube to watch some live performance by Bjork.

Seeing her always make me feel energetic again. Its like having craziness swirling into your brain.

I don't want to just be in here. 

I want to wail and shout as i pleased.

I want to press my mouth to a stranger's ear and whisper heavily.

Or bite my tongue and get lots of ulcers.

Speaking of ulcer, i bit my ulcer a few day ago while eating.

And WWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, the pain send me flying into heaven and dropped me backed down to my seat again.

You know i'm going restless again.

"This is an alarm call,

 so wake up, wake up now.

 Today has never happened

 and it doesn't frighten me."

 Bjork, Alarm Call

Need. To. Sleep...

Its nice to see Sean looked like a real boy at heart and have fun.

As opposed to his usual cool and trademark expression. 

Still, i don't have any problems with it at all.

Dear Mr. Hedi Slimane really took some of the most gorgeous pictures around, the beauty of its simplicity just grows on me every time i look at it.

I look forward to more of your work Mr. Slimane =)

Gosh, i'm supposed to be sleeping but i'm just glued to the sofa and typing this as time goes on.

"Always love.

 Always love you.

 Always love you.

 Infra red love."

 Bjork, Mouth's Cradle

Play Baby Play

Yesterday was like massively tiring and draining. Me, Miffra and Matt went over to Glenn's house to finish up 3D hat project overnight which is kinda fun until it has to do with grade.

Anyway, i really have fun doing it with you guys and observed how we get crankier as the seconds 'tick-tock' by.

In the end, my lovely 'hat' which was supposed to look fierce was being labelled as cute. And it doesn't help that when we got to school, all of us were told to parade around the school wearing the 'lovely' hat.

Jeez, maybe i should just make a giant hat embellished with two visible words, 'F*** 3D'

Now, that doesn't sounds like a bad idea.

Isn't it?

Now, doesn't Ash looked adorable with that child-like expression? 

I'm getting random but... Oh Ash~

"But doesn't it get lonely?

 Riding up there to the sun,

 on a single raft for one,

 don't you wish for someone?"

 Laura Veirs, Where Gravity Is Dead.

Dedicated To Sophie

Guess what did i received when i got home? 

A letter from Sophie!!

I was so shocked, because i thought it was like some belated New Year wishes and stuffs but its not! 

Thanks so much for taking the effort to write it! You have no idea how much it made my day! Yea, i clearly missed those days, the fun (making fun of Mr. Ng ) and the hardship ( especially with Mrs. Tan ) that we had together. 

I know this sounds corny but remember Bartley's motto? 'Be the best that we can be'. Its okay if you don't want to be a teacher anymore or you want to be a feminist for your entire life. In the end, you're still Sophie =) You can achieved anything you want to, just believe it =)

And thanks for the red thong, hahaha It breaks me into laughter. It is uber sexy ;) I see you soon at Jo's birthday yea =)

Here's a sexy kiss for you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"So much present inside my present.

 Inside my present, so much past.

 Inside my present, inside my past.

 Inside my present."

 Feist, Past In Present

Undo

I just got back from Jakarta in the evening. I'm so deadbeat. Aching back and sore feet. 

Yet, i'm still awake doing my IS stuffs.

We were told to choose a topic about anything.

Really. Anything. Even if its about your neighbor's dirty underwear or Michelle Obama's choice of dress.

But i'm not going to any of those. I'm going for skinny boys. 

And now, i'm wondering why i'm doing this because it is not graded.

Freedom. Yes, it was the freedom to do anything i want that tempted me so much. Even if i show my lecturers two naked skinny boys wrestling an ox, they wouldn't send me out of the class or anything. ( I guess they'd be disturbed by it instead)

They are so many things to be done and i've wasted it by going back to my hometown and Jakarta. If only i could turn back time. But i'll watch myself making the same decision again.

By Hedi Slimane.

"You're trying too hard.

 Surrender.

 Give yourself in.

 You're trying too hard"

 Bjork, Undo