Cacophonies For The Awfully Alone

Cacophonies of Silence

Shouldn't you feel lonely

after a long walk?

Chasing time

all around the clock.

We survived the crumbling walls.

Now silence is demanding

a talk.

It never remain for

more than a month.

Now, it got me planted

deep in the yard.

I saw you thrice in my dream.

Seething at me with your

deformed teeth.

You disposed 

the dearest from me.

I staged a riot

to drive away the solitary.

Fighting a losing war

predicting mental rising

from afar.

Julius Kensan

( Sentimental Freak )

Big Time Sensuality

Ph: Inez van Lamsweerde and Vinoodh Matadin

Oh my God!! I can't remember the last time Bjork appear on a magazine cover. This recent cover shot by famous fashion photographer cum fashion darlings, Inez and Vinoodh sure know how to work their way into Bjork's fans ecstasy.

I love how Bjork pulled back her arm and yet managed to look relax. Plus the quirky artwork, this could pass of as her next CD cover, don't you think?

"I can sense it.

 Something important

 is about to happen.

 Its coming up."

 Bjork, Big Time Sensuality.

You Don't Need To Share Your Idiotic Philosophies.

I'm sure all of you came across a 'philosophical' quote put on by your friends on the MSN or Twitter.

Its pretty bullshit if you ask me.

Not only its bullshit, its an hypocrisy in my opinion.

I don't want to know on how or when you've realised that human contradicts, embrace chaos or whatever and then put on a quote to appear as if you're a deep thinker. Save it for your job interview.

The irony is this, those people that put on a quote like that contradict what they wrote all the time. Seriously, not only its stupid, it also did nothing to improve my impression on them.

Walk the talk! The world is not going to change just because a philosophy thought hit on you out of nowhere and make you appear sophisticated.

By the way, in my opinion, Twitter kills creativity because the users just describe what they're doing in the interval of 5 minutes in a short, short sentence. And to my horror, they can't even put on a proper sentence on their twitter page. What a shame because i can't even make out on whether you're having lunch or you're going to have lunch. 

I don't need to know whether you're going to Starbucks or doing your handstand now. Unless you're Kim Jong Il or H1N1 where every move could change the world. 

Urgh, i don't know why i'm so angsty tonight. I could just bite someone else head off and smear the blood on my bedroom wall.

"What's in it for me?

 Fine.

 Then i'll agree."

 The Knife, We Share Our Mother's Health.

You're just one stomach flu away from your goal weight.

A year ago, i would have jump on a buffet spree whenever someone told me that i'm skinny. But, when i come to think of it now, who cares? 

I don't blame them though, its definitely easier to tell someone that he/she is skinny instead of fat. And i think, they're probably just jealous.

Ph: Jak&Jil

So imagine my ecstasy when i saw this picture from Jak&Jil. That slim silhouette and long legs which were brought to perfection with the perfect boots and effortless gait;There's definitely nothing wrong in being skinny. Even Karl Lagerfeld has to slim down to fit into outfits from Dior Homme. 

With the ever shrinking silhouette in the current seasons of womenswear and menswear where most of the pieces are focused on the waist and legs, there is only one and sure way to look good.

Be thin.

"Stands outside my window.

 Sucking on the berries and

 eats us out of house and home.

 Keeping us awake."

 Fever Ray, Triangle Walks.

Bubblegum from China, anyone?

When i was young, my mum would bring me with my brothers to visit her friends. Then when we arrived at the place, my mum would say something like "I was just around the neighbourhood, so thought about dropping by to see you." Sure, when our house was like just few metres away and my mum was just probably bored because dad was away playing badminton with his buddies.

Then my mum and her friend will start to brag about their own child. About how good they are and when they ran out of good point, they'll even use our weaknesses and turned it into something good, something which seems to make them proud.

Like for instance, my mum will tell her friend how sensitive and allergic i am to the dust in the air and pollution that i suffered from a mild asthma which caused her a dent in her pocket because she'll often bring me to see a specialist in Singapore.

That made me thought that having mild asthma was good because she looked so damn proud as if i'd just execute an aerial twist in front of them. So i didn't take my medication as often as i should. In the end, my mum would give me a good scolding, telling me it is very expensive to pay for those medication and that she didn't pay the specialist so that i wouldn't get better.

I spent my adolescent years growing up thinking, 'Why Ma?'

I guess that's why some people i know were so proud of themselves when they were recounting of what allergies they have because we're sort of brought up that way. Heck, they even wear it on their sleeves. I mean, what is so good about having allergy to, say, seafoods? Those people have definitely missed out a lot in life and yet they're still proud of it. 

Oh yeah? Well, i'm sort of allergic to that bullcrap as well.

But, of course not to say that having allergy is really that bad. Its pretty useful to, in terms of conversation starter or saving yourself from a grave matter. 

Yep, i used that excuse or should i say, i lied using that excuse. I was in a very very bad circumstances because i would have got sexually assaulted. It was a few years ago, in one faithful day, a middle aged guy came over and ask for direction. After that, he placed his arms on my shoulders, started groping and offered me pills from a bottle. I'm like keep your hands of my limited edition T-shirt from 'kswjfkdnfineifdf'.

He claimed that it was just bubblegum from China. Oh~ how creative Mr. lonely-perverted-pathetic-bulging belly-old man. Bubblegum from a bottle? I just told him that i'm allergic to bubblegum and walked away.

You know, i do hope that he's allergic to pets because he would spent his whole life really really lonely and pathetic without any companion. Me cruel? Oh no. Have some pity for the animals as well. You wouldn't want them to get assaulted too, would you?

"I'm not cruel,

 but that's what you see.

 Club to club.

 Come see this city with me."

 Crystal Castles, Vanished.

Blue, blue, black and blue.

So here i am, sitting at my workplace, watching people walk passed the shop carrying the wrong bags and horrible choice of colours. 

I do admit that i'm pretty bored, since there is not much to do (yet).  Now, its like so little things to do, so many times at hands. So i just tempered with my own blog to kill my time. In the end, i decided to change the template and place a big bold 'Just Ju' red letters on top. 

You see its not without purpose. 

When one day, you ended up bored like me. You can come over to my blog and stare hard at it for a couple of minutes and when you look away, you'll see purple blotches on your mum's face, your dog's butt or whoever that is close to you.

Here's an example:

Ph: EHow.com

"Oh~ You hit me,

 Yeah, you hit me really hard.

 Man, you hit me.

 Yeah, you hit me right in the heart."

 The Cardigans, And Then You Kissed Me 

Don't Deny Me

Before you guys start scrolling down the page, i just have to warn you that it will be 'pictures overload'. While having some free time at work, i was thinking that its been months since i last took pictures and since i have done all the things i'm supposed to do and there's no crowd at all, i began to snap, snap, snap.

So why not have little fun with the camera in a sleepy afternoon? 

To not do this pose, would be so 'un-juju' of me.

Don't worry Boss, it will be months before i start snapping pictures in the workplace again.

"Baby, i can't stand it when you go to work.

 You never seem to know when to stop.

 I never know when you'll return.

 I'm in love with a robot."

 Royksopp, The Girl And The Robot.

And they talked, and they danced.

It has just dawned to me that Mother's Day is almost a week ago. I didn't even give much thought to it; just reminding myself to not forget to sms my mum. In the end, one thing leads to another and i called her up.

Well, i just want to write over here of the things that i wouldn't be able to tell her face to face (or phone to phone). I love my mum and i think she's one of the strongest woman alive in the world. How else can you explain the ability in giving birth to five extremely stubborn and annoying sons yet able to be the second breadwinner in the family alongside with my Dad and take care of all of us at the same time?

In my opinion, my mum is a tough cookie. She along with my dad eats clueless and helpless business partner for breakfast and tends to her cellulite at night. Yet, at the end of the day, proved to be the most loving person on earth to me. 

Well, Father's day is coming next month. I just hope i'm able to call up my Dad just as i did for my mum.

Ph: Hedi Slimane

P.S I got it into the Fashon course! No interview needed or whatsoever. Amen to that.

"This must be it.

 Long for bliss.

 First it was so quiet.

 Now i know i'm not alone in here."

 Royksopp, This Must Be It.

Leave Me Alone

Past week has been weird. It's like i'm having my second puberty again. I've been eating non-stop; five big meals a day. Not that its not a good thing, i'm in need of putting on some weight. But, who am i kidding? All of the food that i ate will be stored in what? The tip of my toe? Plus, it has taken a toll on my allowance as well.

Holiday supposed to be a relaxing moment for me, instead i'm uptight all the time. My sleeping hours are lost in the space and how am i able to sleep well anyway? Since there has been thunderstorm, or should i say THUNDERstorm during the dawn for the past few days. I've been losing my self-esteem and now i can feel my appetite starting to decrease in size along with my need to talk.

I just want to isolate myself for a little bit more. Encase myself in my own capsule. Write a few poems, avoid the stares of others and sleep with blanket pull up to my chin. 

Ph: Hedi Slimane

"Dry and dusty,

 i am a capsule of energy.

 You speak softly,

 we are capsule of energy."

 Fever Ray, Dry And Dusty.

Mask Me

Myself, Tonight

Oh~ December,

hold on a lil' while more.

Only i know the reason why.

Dots appearing on the surface,

tearing my confidence apart.

Please, i can't see myself tonight.

Haunting me with all its might.

Please, i can't see myself tonight.

To kill myself, i just might.

One out of five,

i've received the worst.

I wish to smear the stars

right in your eyes.

To see how it will

only shine for me.

Camouflaging away

 all of my ugliness.

I can't see myself tonight.

In front the mirror,

i won't recognize.

So please i can't see myself tonight,

remembering how i look like

is the last thing on my mind.

Julius Kensan

( Sentimental Freak )

Stars In My Eyes

I went to catch Star Trek on my own tonight and to my surprise, i found it pretty entertaining.

Speaking of watching movie alone, i don't see what is wrong with that. The counter girl looked at me when i said 'Ticket for one' with a face that says 'Get out of here' while trying hard not to give me a pathetic look. Watching movie and dinner alone are something that i always indulge in whenever i have the time (and money).  Its kind of therapeutic for me actually, to make some time for myself.

Anyway, lets shift the attention to the movie itself. Sci-fi movie like this, is hardly my cup of tea because i hate it when the actors start to say a series of theories and formulas of physics. I'm more of a 'biology' person, you see. However, i felt that the director, J.J Abrams did a good job directing it because from what i heard, the previous in the past aren't that well received. At first, i was a little worried for Chris Pine because i thought he wouldn't have the acting chop to be the lead actor in the movie. In the end, i took back my words because he carried it very well.

In addition, the whole Computer Generated Image effects are very believable, which is a feat because with such an advance technologies these days, most of the effects we used to see on the screen are pretty much 'soul-less'. 

However, one word of precaution. Be prepared to sit beside a hardcore fan of Star Trek because they are so enthusiastic about it that i bet they will not mind to be an extra in the movie that last for less than a second. The guy that sat beside me always complete Captain James Kirk's (Chris Pine) sentence before he does and it annoyed me A LOT. Halfway through the movie, he would start to get very excited and explained about the plot to his friend. Thank God he's with a friend, if not i bet he'll be itching to turn to me instead.

I have an idea. Why not set up a rule where the die-hard fans of the movie must be seated by themselves in an isolated cinema instead? This way, they'll be able to talk as much as they want and throw popcorn at the villains that they hated so much. By this, i meant the fans of Harry Potter, the X-Men franchise, Star Wars and even Twilight too.

"Come right over,

 I'll knock on your shoulder.

 This is a story

 and this is what i've planned."

 The Knife, Neverland.

Either You're In Or Out.

In case you don't know, this year Costume Institute Gala -an extremely popular, if exclusive event in the fashion world- has got everyone going quite literally, gaga. (Which reminded me to thank God that Lady Gaga didn't attend the show because we don't need to see her gracing the red carpet event with her giant tea cup or nude bodysuit.)

So i'm just itching to list out, in my opinion, the five best dressed and the five worst dressed of the night before it became stale, because in fashion world everything passed by so quickly like the speed of the hurricane Katrina. 

Five Best Dressed:

Agyness Deyn

You know, i hate to admit that Agyness Deyn actually looked stunning that night because i find her a little too over-rated. However, as you can see, she nailed it; the hair, the make-up and the accessories that accompanied the Burberry dress were perfect on her. 

Heidi Klum

In such event like this, anyone attending would have ditched the functional and dive straight into the most attention grabbing (and sometimes uncomfortable) pieces. Heidi, on the other hand, wore a dress from J. Mendel and at the same time perfectly covered the baby bump on her tummy. Now that's what i call planning ahead.

Sasha Pivovarova

My friends knew that i love Sasha, so this opinion might be a little biased. But hey, if she could make a dramatic statement with that body-con Giambattista Valli mini complete with a beautiful cascading peacock cape, she's definitely one of the best dressed of the night.

Lou Doillon

In my opinion, anyone who wore Nina Ricci to the event should be on the best dressed list. And Lou Doillon is one of them, 'nuff said.

Shalom Harlow

I know, those of you who are not 'fashion educated' out there (if i may be a little harsh) will go "WTF Dude?" complete with that typical low, couch-sitting American guy voice. Or you guys might even joke about her wearing a sewn on rubbish bag dress. But, can't you see? She totally stop the traffic with the dress (a billowing black taffeta domino by Bob Mackie over a black and beaded Nina Ricci catsuit) and not overwhelmed by it. That's what got me sit up and excited. And that's also why such dress like that are not meant for mere mortals like us, not even for  madonna who can't save herself with a much more wearable outfit. (Read Below)

Five Worst Dressed:

Rihanna

Looks like this year is all about getting inspiration from Michael Jackson for Rihanna. Don't believe me? She was previously seen wearing a Balmain military jacket looking like a female version of MJ and now she attended the gala wearing Dolce & Gabbana  looking as if she has just stepped out from the set of Thriller. What's next? A nose job or a neverland mansion at your hometown, Barbados island?

Coco Rocha

Actually Coco looked alright, just disappointing. I like Coco a lot and felt that she could do so much better than that Isaac Mizrahi's toga dress.

Madonna

When i first saw this picture, i thought it was Lindsay Lohan and forgave her for looking like this. Then, to my horror, it's Madonna! That outfit clearly should be worn by trashy celebrities like Paris Hilton or Britney Spears instead. Poor Madonna, she just doesn't want to admit that she's already 50 years old. And i would say poor Madonna again, because by dating hunky and sizzling brazilian model, Jesus Luz does not mean that you're still in the game; standing beside him just further emphasise that you're a 50 years old dating a guy in his 20s.

Kirsten Dunst

Dear Ms. Dunst, when would start to start to dress like your age?

Andre Leon Talley

ALT is the only guy in the list. He should be happy i guess, to make it in the list. Now, actually it was bad in a good way, because dressing in a such way is his specialty and it just adds on to his personality. However, it made me laughs since he kind of looked like a pastor who has a fetish for women shoes.

See what the rest of the attendees are wearing on the Gala.

"I'm staring at the money

 that burns in my hand.

 I'm dancing for dollars

 and for a fancy man."

 The Knife, Neverland

That's What I'll Have.

Two nights ago, i was lying on my bed wide awake, slightly cold despite the blanket and unable to sleep. I was tossing around and creating scenario inside my mind if i were to be overslept and late for work and then arrived at my workplace only to realise that there is another person taking my place and said that i was fired for being late for the past few days.

So that's it. I went downstairs, sneaked into the kitchen and had some Umeshu (Japanese Ume fruit liqueur) which was actually belong to the landlord. But of course, i didn't have much, only less than a quarter of a glass because it will only take another quarter to knock me out and have me lying on the kitchen floor for the entire night. (Yes, i'm really can't hold my liquor well)

And that's what it took to have my blood rushed to my cheeks and cheered for victory. I actually found myself giggling and slightly tipsy (Don't ask me why). With that, i went to bed as happy as a child who thought that Santa Claus do exist.

However, i won't do it again. After all i'm stealing! I guess i just need to find a better way to cure the insomnia. Maybe a glass of warm milk next time. Or maybe i could add a few drops of Umeshu! I know, i know, i've promised not to steal Umeshu again.

Well, since John doesn't approve it anyway, haha. But of course, since he didn't know of the things i'd do when i'm drunk ;)

Ph: Hedi Slimane

"Only kiss me,

 if the light is right.

 Otherwise,

 we'll wait a while."

 The Concretes, Warm Night.

How Deep Is Deep?

Seventh Sense

We could

imagine all the time from the start.

How time passed too fast,

all lost in the woods.

From another continent

you heave a collective love

streaming like a sensual curve

at the stroke of midnight.

We just got started

and loving is what we do best.

A bottle of rum and

plenty of kiwis to suck on.

Right in my mouth,

got me gasping for a chain of pearls.

And we'll touch

just as the fantasies served.

I'll put my eyes

right at my neck.

To see the look on your face.

The way you thirst for my skin.

I'm the only place

you seek to hide.

You're the only one

i'll seek to please.

Julius Kensan

( Sentimental Freak )

Its In The Chinese

For those of you who are not from Singapore, please bear for a while with me because i'm going to talk a little about something 'Singaporean'.

As most of us have know, there is this forum called Stomp in Singapore where you are able to post anything unusual or interesting thats happening around the island. However, most of the time, the things that they posted up are about the ugly behaviour of people in the public.

Sure, its good to raise some awareness but they have gotten a little bit to far at times. It has becoming like a platform where people judged and shamed others for what they've done. Its just too much to bear. For example, i don't need to know if bookshop is blasting loud music or teenagers these days are kissing in the public.

Seriously, why are they so nosey about those stuffs anyway? I'm sure those people who took those down are around working adults age group and i'm pretty sure that they're open-minded people; then why took those stuffs down as if they've been living in the cave for the past five years? 

Thats why we chinese are the best paparazzi in the world. Accuse me of being a stereotype if you want. I just feel that chinese are the most suitable for the job. Just look at those who are in Hong Kong. They are the best paparazzi in the world. Those in the US are not even close. They're so good that sometimes i think they must have been belong to a spy organisation and those pictures they took on celebrities are just extra commission that they earn along the way. Aww~ such an inquisitive group, don't you think? Yes, be very afraid of the nosey chinese.

Even my neighbours will be qualified to be one because they would like to know why this person living a few houses down the road has been home late often or stood around to snap pictures of fallen tree in the empty field. 

Sometimes, you just can't help but be proud of being a chinese.

"When i grow up,

 i want to be a forester,

 running through the moss 

 on high heels."

 Fever Ray, When I Grow Up.